“It was our office’s holiday party. I’d had a few glasses of wine, and somehow, it just happened. I kissed another woman. It’s been tearing me apart ever since. I haven’t told Caroline yet. I’m so afraid and wracked with guilt over betraying my wife. Also, this is not just because you’ve made it Goddamn public information, which I absolutely demand you take down as soon as possible.”
Adultery? That’s just kissing someone! I thought this dumbass finally had something juicy for me, and he brings me this? Terrible. If you want to hop in Father Kevin’s booth to sob about cheating on your wife, make sure you actually had an affair. I told him to say 50 rosaries for the kiss, 20 for taking the Lord’s name in vain in front of me, and an extra 100 for being a DUMBASS.
So listen up, MR. RUSSELL DAVIS, you should be honest and tell your wife, MS. CAROLINE DAVIS, about your infidelity and work it out together in private.